Very early in my life, I was exposed to one of the largest churches at that time. My father worked as an audio engineer for a pastor that would end up getting busted for prostitution. It was the late 80’s so most would know whom I’m talking about. That was my first experience to christianity. Needless to say, wasn’t a very good one. After three fallen pastors and a bad christian network. Christ was not a very big part of my family, my upbringing or my life. To me church was what you did when some one died. For years the only experience I had was a Catholic mass when relatives died. Which scared me more than anything. When I was in high school I studied different religions. Yes I was that nerdy, and yes I still am. I studied Buddhism, atheism,even native american thoughts and deities. I actually fell in to wicca. To me that made sense there where things I could touch, smell, and do. I could hold on to something that was tangible. Not some god that just floated above my head that others believed in. To me there was history behind it. There was substance. But my life was horrible. After being in abusive relationships and being raped, beaten, struggled with alcohol, cutting, being anorexic and having an emotional break down which resulted with me being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, I was at my breaking point. I snapped. There are six months of my life that I can not recall to save my life. Six months at the start of 2006 (yes not that long ago) that I dont know if I was in a relationship with someone, if I had slept with someone, or even if I had a job. Yes Bill I dont really remember meeting you the first time, but I’m sure I was pretty drunk. Thats when I moved to charleston. A friend of mine from high school was living down there and I hadn’t seen her in forever,no actually I was running. I cant use that as an excuse. I was just running from everything that scared me at home. From everything that I had been through, if that meant having to go to church with her when I was there I could stick it out for what two hours? It changed my life. I cried, like the hard ugly cry. I hadn’t cried in years. You could feel something. I didnt know what, or why, there was just something. No that wasn’t my “God moment” that came later, after studying and testing what I found to be true. I found my God again. But, different then when I was very young. I always thought of him as the big kid on the ant hill. Ready to smite anyone in a heart beat. Its amazing to see him as a loving, caring, patient God that He is. Its great to see that to me, being a christian is not all about trying to change everyone to believe what you believe. There will be no hog tying and whipping people into submission, just love. To me thats the groovy part. Because I can do that.