Breaking the surface

I have amazing people in my life. I would have never thought that were I am at not is where I would have ended up a month ago. Its crazy to see the bottom drop out and see who is still standing beside you when it happends.

I lost my apartment. Its been hard its been ugly, and I’ve known it was going to happen but, its still scary and hard for it to happen. I would have never guessed who would have ended up coming to help pack, move and just sit with me. It was amazing. It was so great having people I know would just hug me or not hug me what ever I needed. I have friends in my life that would drop a date to show up at my place with out me knowing it just to help. I have friends that take me into their homes and take me to work! I have friends that God himself placed in my life to be there, to hold me, to love me, to be a shoulder to cry on, and a voice to make me laught.

Its hard. And yes I’ve been blue, yes I have sucked at “keeping my head up”. I let my self listen to others trying to tell me what I need to do, and what they think is going to happen.

But, I am blessed right now. I see things that I would have never seen before. I’m being held up by others with out a word passing their lips. I’m holding my self up in God and thats beautiful.

So yes, I’ll take alittle pain, a little fear, alittle heart ache, to get to the point that I know who is standing beside me. To get to the point where I am going to be able to pay everyone back in more than hugs and jellies.