Its funny I kept thinking about this week and how “hard” its been. There is so much going on in my life that some times I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster that I cant get off of. Its not fun.

Its even funnier that now as I’m writing the thought, “how hard has it really been” keeps playing in my head. I’m breathing, I’m living, I’m laughing!

I got to pray to night with an amazing group of people that I’m learning more and more about every week. That I am see God move in us in so many ways that its mind-blowing! I would have never thought that this week would have started hard and ended happy! Its all about, focus. I think sometimes its so much easier for me to focus on all the ups and downs and what is changing always in my life, and not focus on the unchanging, rooted things in my life. God.

I think it started when I was trying to be more transparent, its turned in to whinny! I feel like to be transparent I needed to emotionally vomit on whom ever was asking ‘hows your day’. Not once did I capture my thoughts and claim ‘its amazing, God is great!’. No it was a complaint about this, a worry about that, a “I know God has it, but..”.  There so be no but after that statement! How could I just slap God in the face like that and be like God has it but, I dont really trust Him to do anything.

Really who am I? Who gave me the right to question God, who gave me the right to lack in faith. Not I, Not God, Not Anyone!

Its all about your thoughts where are they? What are they focused on? Where are they at??

When was the last time you checked yourself? Its been a long while for me.